Starting Jan. 18, our Extreme Family Finding™ team traveled more than 700 miles over a three-day period to visit three kids in three different towns. Supervisor April Anderson, Extreme Family Finder Jaime Greer, and Private Investigator Tim Fancher spent these three days visiting these kids to bring them gifts, give them updates in person, and most importantly; spend some time in person giving them encouragement.
On the first day, the team traveled to see Dee, a 16-year-old who pulled on the heartstrings throughout our organization when during the visit in December, the EFF team asked Dee what she wanted for Christmas, and without hesitation, she responded, “A family to spend Christmas with.” We found out that the following week Dee was sent to an emergency foster home in Warrensburg.
The team brought her Christmas presents that were donated with items Dee said she would like. Overall, Dee was in good spirits and seemed happy with her presents. Despite an overall good visit, the team was clearly affected by being unable to, at this time, say that any relatives had been found that are willing to adopt her.
On the second day, the EFF team traveled down to Waynesville to visit Briyleigh, a 13-year-old girl who has been in the same residential facility for over two years. The team was led to a small room in the facility to meet with her. Briyleigh held a lot of anger for her situation. As in many residential facilities she had to appear tough otherwise the other youth would see her as an easy target. She was very talkative, especially when the subject of her older brother came up and how much she misses him and wants to see him. She became emotional and the depth of her loneliness and sadness came out. After the emotional breakdown, she admitted to being hungry and that Sonic was her favorite so The EFF team brought her a meal. The EFF team is confident and has already had some progress with a family member who is interested in being a part of her care network.
Finally, on the third day, the EFF team drove six hours to see Trever, a 16-year-old in a very rural facility in Black, Missouri. The team first met Trever in December, and his sincerity, eagerness, and respectful nature impacted Tim greatly. During that visit, Trever mentioned that he was considering joining the Navy someday. Tim has a friend who is an MP in the Navy and reached out to him about Trever. Tim’s friend sent a Nike brand Navy hat and shirt, as well as a personal, handwritten note encouraging Trever. Everyone got a kick out of one line in the note. Tim had told his Navy friend that Trever also said he wanted to start lifting weights, and in the note, his friend wrote, “If the shirt is too big, hit them weights!” After becoming more comfortable, Trever brought out his guitar and played some songs, much to the delight of the team. Throughout the meeting, this impressive young man was so respectful and accommodating; however, when the reality that for the time being he would continue to have to stay at that facility hit him, it was clear that he was trying his best to put on a brave front.
This is the nature of the reality for so many children in care, however, visits like these are critically important because they can inspire hope not only in the youth but also in the team striving to help find those family members.
There is nothing more motivating than knowing that these kids are going to sleep night after night in bed that is not their own, and it is their job to change that. Rather than being tucked in and wrapped with words of comfort from a loved one, they are falling asleep wrestling with these thoughts: no one loves me and no one wants me.
Every child should know they are not alone, they are loved, they are worthy, and there are cared for.
