Let’s talk about something challenging: change. Have you ever realized that the word “change” is within the word “challenge?” It’s pretty fitting, honestly. Change happens all around us all the time, so why is it sometimes so difficult to experience it? Change is hard because it results in our normal being disrupted. What we were comfortable with is no longer happening, what was expected is now unexpected, and everything seems to be full of unknowns. There are so many situations in which change is brought about, such as moving out of your parents’ house, moving states, getting married, getting a new job, getting a new boss, learning new policies that weren’t there before, and growing your family – whether that be through childbirth or accepting a new placement. When you accept a child to come into your home, both of you are going through a lot of change at the same time. The child was just removed from everything they have ever known, and even though it is for the best in the long run, they may not see it that way right off the bat. You went from having either no children or fewer children in your home to having a child there without having the typical nine months a birth parent has to prepare for that child. That is a major change! That child (or children) will change your life – positively or negatively. Even the challenging ones will change your life in such a way that will teach you life lessons you didn’t even know you needed, leading to your personal growth.
Change brings growth as we learn new things that help us develop our skills, expanding the capabilities that we have inside of us all along. When we embrace change, we learn how to become more adaptable and flexible. Our strengths are exposed as we wrestle through the discomfort of unlearning the comfortable and learning the new normal. However, change is not always going to be positive. There are going to be setbacks, and that’s okay! It is important to identify the change that is happening and the emotions that come along with it. It is normal to feel frustrated after you have tried everything with the kiddo in your home and their behaviors don’t seem to be getting better. It is normal to feel stressed when changes in your job make you question your capabilities or job security. It is normal to feel angry when what was normal is now disrupted and you can’t figure out how to make it better. Embracing change is hard! There are, however, ways to make it easier on yourself.
Embracing change starts with a positive mindset. Everything will always seem negative if the negative is all you are looking for. Instead of saying, “Their behaviors are so out of control, I don’t even want to be around them anymore,” try saying, “They have been through a lot, and so have I. This is going to take some time. It’s okay for me to take a break. I may need to take a different approach.” Instead of thinking, “These changes are pointless, everything was great before [blank] happened and caused all this uncertainty,” try thinking, “I’m interested in seeing what skills I will develop and what opportunities are presented to me from this.” If you expect positives, you will see positives!
Give yourself grace! Unlearning your old habits and routines to develop new ones takes time and work. See if you can find a support system for individuals going through something similar to you. I can guarantee you are not the only one experiencing changes in your home life, work life, or both at the same time! A support system will help you realize you are not alone in your experiences and your feelings with said changes. Be wary of the people who will pull you deeper into the resistance of change. It is very important to encourage one another to keep pushing forward towards embracing change!
Finally, tell yourself positive affirmations! Affirmations aid in challenging negative thoughts and behaviors. Here are some you may want to try:
• I have the power and strength to overcome obstacles.
• I believe I have what it takes to succeed.
• I am filled with goodness and kindness.
• Forgiving others helps me move forward.
• I am determined to live each day to the fullest.
• I am excited about the opportunities coming my way.
• I inspire those around me with my actions.
• I release fear and embrace joy.
• I have unlimited potential.
• No matter what happens, I will be okay.
You can do this! Remember that change takes time. We live in a world of immediate gratification, and it is so easy to get caught up in the thought that success happens overnight. I encourage you tostick with it and persevere! You are a champion of change!
