Category: Mental Health Corner

The weather is finally getting warmer, the sun is shining bright, and the trees and grass are starting to get their color back! Spring is quickly approaching, which means it is declutter season! I don’t know about you, but I need to declutter my workspace and brain – papers and files are everywhere (in both spaces)! However, since the season of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) is ending with longer days and more daylight, it is essential to reset your mind! Let’s wash our brain windows and let that sunlight in!

What does a cluttered mind consist of?

You may wonder, “How can I even tell if my mind is cluttered? I am plenty productive and have no issues remembering anything!” First of all, tell me your secrets because I can count on one finger the number of times (s) my mind has not felt cluttered! Anyways, your mind may be untidy if you can relate to any of these:

· Concentrating on negative thoughts

· Worrying about things out of your control

· Forgetting to complete things on your mental to-do list

· Overthinking

· Over-analyzing situations

· Anything that causes excessive or overwhelming thoughts, worries, or concerns fills your mind, making it difficult to focus, make decisions, or feel at peace.

How does a cluttered mind affect day-to-day activities?

Forbes.com puts it best: “Constantly allowing your mind to be cluttered causes mental disarray, distraction and disorder that hinders your ability to set priorities, make choices, maintain focus and be productive. You lose touch with yourself, your surroundings, your relationships, and the current moment when your mind is busy because you are not present.”

Sounds exhausting. That’s because it is! This can also result in feeling burnt out if you’re not feeling that already. So, what can we do? Say it with me – declutter our minds!

Ways to declutter!

Decluttering your mind will pull you out of the negative thought patterns and reach your maximum potential! Here are some ways to do that:

1. Get better sleep! That is easier said than done for me (and many of us). I have heard it is easier to fall asleep when you put your phone down and reduce screen time by about 30 minutes to an hour before bed. Also, following a bedtime routine relaxes your body to get good quality sleep!

2. Move! I mean, move your body, not move homes! Take a walk, however short or long you feel like! Go to the gym! Utilize your home gym! Release those endorphins!

3. Write it down! Make a to-do list, journal your feelings and thoughts, or draw if you feel artsy!

4. Declutter your surroundings! My brain often feels more cluttered when everything around me is cluttered, which is a problem because I have difficulty keeping my physical spaces clean and organized. I have found that there are ways that I organize that are different from “normalized” ways to organize, so you do you, boo!

5. Do less! I have an issue: I need to complete everything on my to-do list on the same day, so I wait until I have the motivation to complete everything all at once. The problem? That motivation NEVER comes because the tasks continue to build and build! Yikes! It also causes my mind to become overwhelmed and overloaded, so not even the most important things get done. I am slowly learning to pick a few things to do each day, making me feel calmer knowing that I have less to do the next day. Give it a shot!

Hopefully this will also help you to create healthy, sustainable habits while also reducing stress and anxiety. Take one day at a time, one little bit at a time! Here’s to a fresh start to a new season of feeling refreshed and positive!

On Saturday, Nov. 11, the advocacy team at CMFCAA hosted a Foster Parent Luncheon. At this luncheon, we were able to discuss issues with permanency and get a better understanding of the Reasonable and Prudent Parent Standard. So many of our wonderful caregivers shared their concerns with children in care for more than the 22-month timeframe that Children’s Division states there should be. It makes sense why there are so many frustrations!

Every child deserves a home they feel they can “plant their roots” in. Our new Extreme Family Finding™ supervisor, Shannon McPherson, shed some light on why this can sometimes take longer than 22 months. When the case goal is reunification, the biological parents are given steps they can take to ensure proper care and safety for their children in the event they are returned home to them. Sometimes parents follow the plan, and others do not. For the parents that follow the plan, they sometimes “fall off the wagon” and that extends the time the case is open as they try to pick themselves back up again. McPherson encouraged our caregivers to be mindful of how the experience of their children being removed has affected the biological parents. She shared a story of one mom missing the first few months of visits with her biological son because she was so filled with guilt that he had been removed that she could not face him. McPherson also said some parents do not want to be parents, but are still given the opportunity to change their ways within that 22 months by Children’s Division.

It can be very difficult to watch the child in your care experience all the emotions, and trauma in some cases, when they are working the reunification plan. However, as hard as it is, we need to try our hardest to not villainize the biological parents because this experience was traumatic for them as well. Being consistently loving and consistently caring for the child (or children) in your care during this experience is exactly what they are needing until permanency can take place!

Let’s talk about something challenging: change. Have you ever realized that the word “change” is within the word “challenge?” It’s pretty fitting, honestly. Change happens all around us all the time, so why is it sometimes so difficult to experience it? Change is hard because it results in our normal being disrupted. What we were comfortable with is no longer happening, what was expected is now unexpected, and everything seems to be full of unknowns. There are so many situations in which change is brought about, such as moving out of your parents’ house, moving states, getting married, getting a new job, getting a new boss, learning new policies that weren’t there before, and growing your family – whether that be through childbirth or accepting a new placement. When you accept a child to come into your home, both of you are going through a lot of change at the same time. The child was just removed from everything they have ever known, and even though it is for the best in the long run, they may not see it that way right off the bat. You went from having either no children or fewer children in your home to having a child there without having the typical nine months a birth parent has to prepare for that child. That is a major change! That child (or children) will change your life – positively or negatively. Even the challenging ones will change your life in such a way that will teach you life lessons you didn’t even know you needed, leading to your personal growth.

Change brings growth as we learn new things that help us develop our skills, expanding the capabilities that we have inside of us all along. When we embrace change, we learn how to become more adaptable and flexible. Our strengths are exposed as we wrestle through the discomfort of unlearning the comfortable and learning the new normal. However, change is not always going to be positive. There are going to be setbacks, and that’s okay! It is important to identify the change that is happening and the emotions that come along with it. It is normal to feel frustrated after you have tried everything with the kiddo in your home and their behaviors don’t seem to be getting better. It is normal to feel stressed when changes in your job make you question your capabilities or job security. It is normal to feel angry when what was normal is now disrupted and you can’t figure out how to make it better. Embracing change is hard! There are, however, ways to make it easier on yourself.

Embracing change starts with a positive mindset. Everything will always seem negative if the negative is all you are looking for. Instead of saying, “Their behaviors are so out of control, I don’t even want to be around them anymore,” try saying, “They have been through a lot, and so have I. This is going to take some time. It’s okay for me to take a break. I may need to take a different approach.” Instead of thinking, “These changes are pointless, everything was great before [blank] happened and caused all this uncertainty,” try thinking, “I’m interested in seeing what skills I will develop and what opportunities are presented to me from this.” If you expect positives, you will see positives!

Give yourself grace! Unlearning your old habits and routines to develop new ones takes time and work. See if you can find a support system for individuals going through something similar to you. I can guarantee you are not the only one experiencing changes in your home life, work life, or both at the same time! A support system will help you realize you are not alone in your experiences and your feelings with said changes. Be wary of the people who will pull you deeper into the resistance of change. It is very important to encourage one another to keep pushing forward towards embracing change!

Finally, tell yourself positive affirmations! Affirmations aid in challenging negative thoughts and behaviors. Here are some you may want to try:

• I have the power and strength to overcome obstacles.

• I believe I have what it takes to succeed.

• I am filled with goodness and kindness.

• Forgiving others helps me move forward.

• I am determined to live each day to the fullest.

• I am excited about the opportunities coming my way.

• I inspire those around me with my actions.

• I release fear and embrace joy.

• I have unlimited potential.

• No matter what happens, I will be okay.

You can do this! Remember that change takes time. We live in a world of immediate gratification, and it is so easy to get caught up in the thought that success happens overnight. I encourage you tostick with it and persevere! You are a champion of change!