Category: Mental Health Corner

Tips for Helping Your Child Through A Panic Attack

Your child or teen comes to you breathing heavily, crying, struggling to breathe, and likely extremely upset or overwhelmed about something. They can’t get it under control and they need help. Their panic attack or anxiety attack is taking over and leading to exhaustion and Maybe you’ve been there too before, or maybe you haven’t. Either way, it can be hard to help someone else effectively calm down truly. So, what can you do that helps?  

Each child is unique in their needs, in what works, and in how they prefer to handle things. Ask your child if they know what helps them most before a panic attack or the moment of intense anxiety even arises. Find out if they are a kid who likes hugs or if they prefer not to have anyone in their bubble. Figure out where their “happy place” is, or what their favorite things are (this can be a good distraction tactic for later).  

Supporting your child’s mental health can be challenging. In general, however, there a few coping skills you can utilize to help calm your child during a panic attack or anxiety attack to help them feel more safe and secure.

The 5-4-3-2-1 method 

This one is an all-time favorite of mine. Gently and slowly, help your child to ground themselves by coming back to the present and focusing on what is right in front of them at this very moment. Ask them to discover the following: 

Five things you can see. 

Four things you can touch. 

Three things you can hear. 

Two things you can smell. 

One thing you can taste. 

You can change up the order depending on your surroundings at the time and what might work best, or you can eliminate some of the senses if that works too. The point is to just get your child to utilize their senses to recognize that their immediate safety is not in danger, that they are safe, and that it is okay to calm down.  

Now, this one depends on your child and their experiences with this. Talk to your child about this before trying it. Something as simple as a good tight hug can work well for this.

The goal is for your child’s brain to send signals to the body that they are safe and protected, and deep pressure such as a tight hug, heavy or weighted blanket, or a dog sitting on their lap can all help send this message to the brain. Think about tiny humans and how they want to be held frequently and tend to calm down once swaddled. 

Talk to your child about something that they love or something that will make them laugh. Their brain is swirling with negative thoughts right now and feelings of panic and dread. Help interrupt that vicious cycle by putting different thoughts in your child’s head about something totally unrelated. If you’ve got some great dad jokes, this could be a great time to bust them out. Or, if you know they’d love to tell you more about how Hulk is the best superhero, invite that conversation now. 

Movement is incredibly good for the body and brain for so many reasons. Taking a walk while feeling panicky can help release chemicals in the brain, such as dopamine and endorphins, which literally help you feel better. The fresh air can help cool off, and a change in scenery can help your child reset.  

Sometimes people want to process what makes them panic, and some don’t want to talk about it. Try not to assume, and instead ask them. See if they want to just vent or if they want solutions if age-appropriate. Allow them to control the conversation by determining where the conversation goes.  

Anxiety and feelings of panic are exhausting feelings and truly wear out the brain and body. Please remind your child that they are safe and that they are okay. And, remind yourself the same. You and your kiddo are in this together. You can do this! 

Navigating your child’s mental and behavioral health can be difficult. Don’t forget to take care of yourself, or maybe join a support group to talk with others experiencing similar situations.

**This is not to be considered professional advice. Please seek help with a professional licensed counselor or social worker to find what works best for you and your family.**

Self Care and Support Groups

Your time is incredibly limited already. You put all of the free time you do have into your kids. And finding time for yourself, to focus on yourself, is just hard. I get it, I do. But I want to let you know that you deserve space for you. You are allowed to take time to process all that you are going through and to release the burdens you are carrying, no matter how big or small.

Time is something you should spend on yourself too, because if we can’t take care of ourselves, then what? We know that we can’t pour from an empty cup, put an oxygen mask on another unless we do our own first, or give what we don’t have. In other words, we have to take care of ourselves if we are to truly be there to take care of the kiddos in our lives, do a good job at work, and be a good human to others.  

Spend Time on YOU

So, what if you spent two hours a month to focus on you? To talk about your experience as a parent? To share your frustrations and exhaustions and confusions with someone who gets it? 

A support group for foster/adoptive/kinship families could be the perfect way to do that. Support groups help connect you with other parents also going through similar challenges. They also give you a chance to learn from others and can provide space to talk openly and honestly. 

MayoClinic shares some of the benefits of support groups, such as feelings less lonely, reducing feelings of depression, and gaining a sense of empowerment. Plus, you can increase your understanding of adoption/kinship/foster parent emotions, legal processes, and more to help you stay motivated throughout your caregiver journey.  But most importantly, joining a support group can help you cope.  

CMFCAA Support Groups for Foster/Adoptive/Kinship Families

That is why the CMFCAA Advocacy Team is starting support groups for parents/caregivers of foster/adoptive/kinship kiddos. We want to give you a scheduled, designated space to talk about your experiences as a parent, guilt free. A space where you can learn that what you are feeling is not only normal, but also figure-outable. Together with other parents, you can start to feel validated for your frustrations, grief, rejection, loss of control, and your new identity with this new family dynamic. 

More specifically, we want to talk about “The Seven Core Issues in Adoption and Permanency,” a concept created by Sharon Kaplan Roszia and Allison Davis Maxon that covers the waves of emotions that come with being a foster/adoption/kinship family. Together, we will all work through each core issue and find ways to help us move forward feeling empowered in our parenting skills and connected to others in the community.  

Think about it…. two hours a month to focus on you and your own emotions. A chance to release all of the stress you are holding. And an opportunity to learn new ways to cope and move forward while surrounded by others who are going through the same thing. Are you up for it?  

Give us a call or email us to get involved in our support groups now!

**This is not to be considered professional advice. Please seek help with a professional licensed counselor or social worker to find what works best for you and your family.**