The Central Missouri Foster Care & Adoption Association

Every Child Deserves a Forever Family

Tag: Mental Health

Self Care and Support Groups

Your time is incredibly limited already. You put all of the free time you do have into your kids. And finding time for yourself, to focus on yourself, is just hard. I get it, I do. But I want to let you know that you deserve space for you. You are allowed to take time to process all that you are going through and to release the burdens you are carrying, no matter how big or small.

Time is something you should spend on yourself too, because if we can’t take care of ourselves, then what? We know that we can’t pour from an empty cup, put an oxygen mask on another unless we do our own first, or give what we don’t have. In other words, we have to take care of ourselves if we are to truly be there to take care of the kiddos in our lives, do a good job at work, and be a good human to others.  

Spend Time on YOU

So, what if you spent two hours a month to focus on you? To talk about your experience as a parent? To share your frustrations and exhaustions and confusions with someone who gets it? 

A support group for foster/adoptive/kinship families could be the perfect way to do that. Support groups help connect you with other parents also going through similar challenges. They also give you a chance to learn from others and can provide space to talk openly and honestly. 

MayoClinic shares some of the benefits of support groups, such as feelings less lonely, reducing feelings of depression, and gaining a sense of empowerment. Plus, you can increase your understanding of adoption/kinship/foster parent emotions, legal processes, and more to help you stay motivated throughout your caregiver journey.  But most importantly, joining a support group can help you cope.  

CMFCAA Support Groups for Foster/Adoptive/Kinship Families

That is why the CMFCAA Advocacy Team is starting support groups for parents/caregivers of foster/adoptive/kinship kiddos. We want to give you a scheduled, designated space to talk about your experiences as a parent, guilt free. A space where you can learn that what you are feeling is not only normal, but also figure-outable. Together with other parents, you can start to feel validated for your frustrations, grief, rejection, loss of control, and your new identity with this new family dynamic. 

More specifically, we want to talk about “The Seven Core Issues in Adoption and Permanency,” a concept created by Sharon Kaplan Roszia and Allison Davis Maxon that covers the waves of emotions that come with being a foster/adoption/kinship family. Together, we will all work through each core issue and find ways to help us move forward feeling empowered in our parenting skills and connected to others in the community.  

Think about it…. two hours a month to focus on you and your own emotions. A chance to release all of the stress you are holding. And an opportunity to learn new ways to cope and move forward while surrounded by others who are going through the same thing. Are you up for it?  

Give us a call or email us to get involved in our support groups now!

**This is not to be considered professional advice. Please seek help with a professional licensed counselor or social worker to find what works best for you and your family.**

How to Support Your Child’s Mental Health

If only we could get our hands on a magic wand to make all of our child’s pain, hurt, and suffering go away. I know most of us would reach right for it, and for good reason. But the reality is, we can’t take it away no matter how much we try. Being a foster/adoptive/kinship parent means that your child likely experienced loss, heartbreak, and pain before coming to you. Dealing with such intense emotions is hard as an adult, and even harder when you are a child and don’t quite understand what is going on or why. Even more, children don’t yet have the skills or brain development to regulate such intense emotions, making it even harder to handle. Thankfully, your children have you for support and guidance on the journey of healing. And, there are things you can do to help support your child through the process.  

Don’t try to fix it.  

I know you desperately want to. I know it is hard. But what happened cannot be undone. We can only help our children to move forward and encourage resiliency and strength. We do this by acknowledging their emotions and helping them to feel what they feel without rushing to fix it. Further, by letting them try to reach their own solutions or resolutions, we teach them independence, problem solving skills, and allow them to build confidence in their own skills. Instead of fixing it for them, we can offer encouragement, ask questions, and express empathy for our children, allowing us to be there for them in a way we can truly help. 

Remind your child that you are there for them. 

Humans need connection. We need to feel seen and heard. Let your child know that you are here for them in their times of fear, pain, and confusion. The stigma of mental health conditions can make it harder for kids to feel comfortable talking about their problems, so remind your child that you will listen without judgement. Offer a tight hug, to sit with them while they cry, or to feel with them. Find out what makes your child feel supported and safe. Ask them how you can help. And, allow yourself to feel with them. You don’t always have to hide how you feel.  

Be an example for them. 

Talk about your own mental health and what you are doing to make it better. Make it a routine to check in and see how they are doing by starting the conversation yourself. It can be scary to be vulnerable and to show that maybe you don’t have it all together, but it helps them to feel less alone, and provides an opportunity for them to learn from the best on how to overcome challenges. The more we talk about our own emotions and mental health, the more likely our kids are going to come to us to talk about their own experiences. 

Love them fiercely. 

Love them hard and love them always. Forever love them unconditionally, without limitations, without bounds, and without changes. Let them know that mistakes are okay, bad days are okay, and that they are never ever alone. Stay judgement free when they come to you about things, build trust, and let them know that you love them. Find out their love language, find out your own, and connect! 

Central Missouri Foster Care and Adoption Association Advocacy Team 

Navigating mental health conditions and emotions can be difficult. All you can do is the best you can do, and for that, I am proud of you. Nevertheless, some challenges are bigger than a parent can handle and that is okay. If you find yourself needing more help navigating your child’s mental health needs, contact me. I am here for you. CMFCAA is here for you. 

Reagan Sullivan 

(She/Her) 

Mental Health Advocate  

573-469-8173 

reagan@mofosteradopt.com 

**This is not to be considered professional advice. Please seek help with a professional licensed counselor or social worker to find what works best for you and your family.**

Call:
573-298-0258

Locations:
Jefferson City
Columbia
Osage Beach
Rolla

The Central Missouri Foster Care & Adoption Association (CMFCAA) does not and shall not discriminate on the basis of race, color, religion, gender identity, gender expression, age, national origin (ancestry), disability, marital status, sexual orientation, or military status, in any of its programs or services. These activities include, but are not limited to hiring and firing of staff, selection of volunteers and vendors, and provision of services. We are committed to providing a welcoming environment for all members of our staff, volunteers, subcontractors, vendors, and members.